imagine if I may:
my wedding dress! With a few changes anyway, but that's it! Isn `t it great? I'll be a bride, I still can not grasp !!!!!
I'm fine so far. The pills start to work on and do their job quite well. I do not feel so paralyzed as before, I had more energy out and to do more, am more and meet people. I'm kinda geisitg more, let him take part in more discussions with my Brain. As if a fog would thin out, or a thick black cloud would blow away. When I would show up or leave a soundproof room.
The wedding preparations are so slow and I panic. My veil came last week and on Saturday I am meeting with a hairdresser in city wage. We have a board room for the cat and all vaccinations Anglo wobbles.
We have a DJ and a photographer. Whoever has a proposal for guest gifts: here it!
And because everything is just pretty good has to be a damper. And unfortunately, there was the first birthday of my son, because neither his aunt with family nor his grandma came to celebrate. I found shit. Was a rather stupid celebration. I was so upset and was so disappointed! If the first birthday is no cause for celebration, then what then? I have been delighted if more ... Presence would have been available. I would have found it nice to have celebrated with me this totally serious year, which is over and we are all doing well, although a year ago, everything was so hard!
A year ago, shortly before the birth, I felt emotionally as bad as ever. The move, Manuel DA, the baby, the responsibility to my depression, being out of work, Manuel's inability to deal with the situation ... it was so much of the mountain so big that he could not be overcome. And suddenly burst the knots and everything seemed to be good, the little girl was so beautiful, so perfect and I anxiously Sun And there was the horror going on first. If you think you see no other choice than to throw the child and the cat on the balcony, is not that nice. If it howls all the time and considers himself the incompetent, shittiest being in the world, does not help that. If you think it would be better that the child would be gone, no matter where. But if you actually know that you love the little worm has to, because it is my child, but I can not because the thing I devour the breasts and I can not sleep, actually nothing can. Himself to find meaningless and useless crap is easy.
But it will pass. It passed. After about 6 weeks, listened to the delusions and when the milk pump was it was easier. When he was weaned, and finally slept through, that was heaven on earth. And day after day it got better.
Today I feel worth it. I still feel not great, but it will. The hospital project is running, I was looking again to the doctor to write a report because of the need. We are getting there and I feel it.
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